I was surfing the interweb, and I discovered this very epic shirt.

This shirt is too awesome. I need it.

Anyway, this made me think a little about ghosties. Should I become a ghost, I would definitely want to haunt people, particularly Ashley…

This is what I think about at 9:23 at night when I’m all hyped up on coffee. I love coffee. Today was free donut day!

Back to the point. Haunting tactics. My example for now will be Ashley. She shall be the hauntee. (In case you don’t know Ashley, she’s my bestie. Check out her wordpress. xashesx.wordpress.com)

I’ll start with the simple haunt. Personally, I enjoy seeing people when they’re terrified. Especially Ashley. I would hide in her closet and make freaky giggly noises. Perhaps sing the song Peach Plum Pear. I would find a clown nose and make it hover in front of her face. I would trip out her dog, maybe possess it and make it dance. Or speak. Haahaha that would be great. Imagine Ashley, innocently reading her vampire fantasy books, or making a Frerard yaoi or something. Her dog, aka me, saunters into the room. It places it’s paws on the edge of her bed, gets real close to her face, opens its mouth and says:

“Hold me closer, tiny dancer.”

In a disgusting dog voice. The it just walks out of the room, like nothing happened.

I would possess the baby doll in her closet and freak the shit out of her. You see, she has this doll that used to be her mother’s. I’m telling you: this is the freakiest doll you’ve ever seen. It’s got this arm lever thing that makes it close it’s eyes and when they open back up they’re looking somewhere else. You never know where it’s gonna look. I would make that thing like, hide in her bed sheets with a corkscrew knife.

Imagine little innocent Ashley, asleep and dreaming of vampire fantasies or Frerard yaoi. She feels a tingly sharp sensation on the bottom of her foot. She pulls off her covers to find a freaky-as-shit doll poking her foot with a corkscrew. It brings its arm down upon her foot, stabbing her with the corkscrew over and over, and with each turn of the lever/arm, each time it stabs her, it’s eyes change. Hahahah oh yes.

I would wait until she was just about to drift into sleep. Just about to dream of vampire fantasies and Frerard yaoi, and I would set off every single music box in her room at the same exact time. Then I would laugh. I WOULD LAUGH as she screamed in sheer terror.

I would put on her beloved pinstripe pants and wear them everywhere. She would she a floating pair of pinstipe pants walking all over the place. Doing the cancan in her closet. Seriously, can you imagine opening up your closet only to see your favorite pair of pants doing a little dance in front of you. And the cancan no less…